Broken
by Beautiful Deceit
Summary: It had been one week since Ruthie Camden had been broken. One week since she had laughed. Seven days since she had crumbled. One hundred and sixtyeight hours since she had stopped caring about anything. RuthieMartin
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own 7th heaven, though I wish I did. The quote from this story is not mine, however, I found it on many web sites and thought it seemed to fit with my story.

A/N: The characters' thoughts are in Italics. Please read and review. No flames, but constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy!

"**The girl who seemed unbreakable… broke.**

**The girl who seemed so strong… crumbled.**

**The girl who always laughed… cried.**

**And…**

**The girl who would never stop trying… finally quit."**

It had been one week since Ruthie Camden had been broken. One week since she had laughed. Seven days since she had crumbled. One hundred and sixty-eight hours since she had stopped caring about anything. Betrayed by her own blood, deceived by her love, her best friend. Martin Brewer had gotten another girl pregnant, a girl whom he hated. It had taken one night, but in one night he had betrayed the girl who had loved him the most. He had lied to her for months.

Flashback 

"I hate you! I hate you!" Ruthie cried into Martin's chest.

"I know. I hate me too." He replied as he stroked her hair and held her.

End Flashback 

' _Martin ruined everything that could have been. How could he do this? I thought I was his best friend. I thought I could have been more than his best friend. His girlfriend. My whole family knew! Everyone. They listened to me talk about how much I loved Martin and didn't try to stop me. And Martin! How could he be so stupid? How could he lie to my face for months?'_

"I hate him! I hate him!" Ruthie continuously sobbed as she leaned against the wall.

This was how she had begun her day for the past week. She continued to sob, leaning back against the wall, until she slid to the floor.

"I ha—," she stopped. "I love him." Ruthie whispered.

She continued to sob and whisper incoherently. Throughout her fit, Annie entered Ruthie's bedroom.

"Oh, Ruthie," Annie whispered consolingly, " I know you're hurting sweetheart, but think of Martin. Think about how Martin is having a baby that he didn't want or ask for. I know that you're heartbroken, but Martin needs you right now. You can't just turn your back on him."

Ruthie seemed to consider this for a moment before breaking down into more sobs. She looked up at Annie through watery, deep brown eyes. Though her eyes were watery and tears were streaming down her cheeks, Ruthie's face hardened. Annie took a step back as Ruthie stood.

" You don't understand, _Mother_. I love Martin, but he lied to me. You all lied to me. Everyone keeps going on about how Martin feels and how hurt he must be, but not one of you has considered my feelings. Yes, I understand that Martin is going through a rough time, but you don't seem to understand that I am too! I want to be there for him, but I can't because every time I see him it feels like my heart breaks all over again. Don't you understand that? It hurts too much. It just hurts too much."

"Ruthie honey, believe me, I understand. But sweetheart," Annie began, only to be cut off by Ruthie.

"No Mom. No. I'm not ready to face this yet. And even if I was, that doesn't change the fact that you don't understand how I feel!"

" Honey, I want to understand. Why don't you explain it to me. Give it a shot." Annie tried again.

"No." Ruthie stated in a voice void of emotion. " Now, if you would please leave my room, it's time for me to get ready for school."

Annie complied, walking out of Ruthie's room and journeying down the stairs. Ruthie slammed her door.

" She has no idea what it feels like to be broken. No idea what it feels like to be dead inside." Ruthie said to the empty room.

With that last statement, Ruthie gathered her bathrobe, blue thong and matching bra in her hands, opened the door, and went to take a shower.

Well that's my first chapter. I'm sorry that it wasn't that long. Please let me know what you think.

Beautiful Deceit.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own 7th heaven or any of its characters, though I wish I did.

" She has no idea what it feels like to be broken. No idea what it feels like to be dead inside." Ruthie said to the empty room.

With that last statement, Ruthie gathered her bathrobe, blue thong and matching bra in her hands, opened the door, and went to take a shower.

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Ruthie sighed as she walked into the kitchen. Sam and David were eating pancakes, Eric was on the phone with one of his couples from therapy and Annie was packing the lunches. They all looked up, catching Ruthie's sigh and taking in her depressed state. She had been like this for the past week and they would all be lying if they said they weren't worried. Today, however, was different from that of the past week. For the past week, Ruthie had gone to school in sweat- suits in a variety of colors. Today, Ruthie walked into the kitchen in one of her loveliest ensembles. Her black mini-skirt swayed as she walked over to the counter.

"Morning Mom, Dad, Sam n' David."

"Good morning, Ruthie." They all replied.

Annie was happy to see her daughter dressed in her normal clothes, in comparison to her comfort clothes. Though Ruthie was dressed normally and looked beautiful, her black, lacy mini-skirt and pale blue off the shoulder sweater could not hide the pain evident in her face. _'Her eyes look dead.' _ Thought Annie. _' I pray to God that my baby girl comes back to life soon.' _

"Sweetheart," Annie said, " Your father and I have something we would like to talk to you about."

"Sorry Mom, I'm late for school, but we'll talk later, O.K.?"

"But your mother and I really need to discuss this with you before school. Ruthie, this is import-," Eric was cut off.

"We'll talk later." Ruthie cut him off, in a tone of voice, which seemed to finalize their discussion.

" But Ruthie-," Annie tried.

"Later." And Ruthie was out the door.

School was a blur for Ruthie. She felt like everything was spinning. At the moment, Ruthie's friend Belle was attempting to discuss her latest boyfriend with Ruthie as they made their way to their lunch table.

" I think he's perfect. He could be the one. I mean I know with my past boyfriends I've said I was in love, but Jeff is just so different. I don't understand it, but Jeff makes me feel so special. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world." Belle babbled, ignorant of the pale complexion that Ruthie's face had taken on.

" I feel so alive, you know? Jeff just makes me feel like everything is perfect. It's like he makes it worth waking up in the morning for school. He's here and that just makes the whole school thing seem O.K. Have you ever felt that way Ruthie?" Belle asked.

"Yeah, actually I have, but love, I don't know. I think that love and I don't mix at the moment. It's just that relationships don't seem to go my way. Love just leads to heartache and I've had enough of that to last me a life time, thank you very much." Ruthie replied.

After witnessing Belle's glowing face turn to one of sadness, Ruthie hastily added, "But I'm pretty sure that love only works that way for me. You and Jeff sound so right. I'm sorry. Please, go ahead, don't stop talking about Jeff for me." At this, Belle's smile returned and she continued to babble about Jeff throughout lunch.

Ruthie's second to last class was English Literature. Usually, she enjoyed this class because her favorite teacher, Ms. Caldwell taught it, but today Ruthie was miserable. Ruthie's misery stemmed from the literary work that they had been studying, _Romeo and Juliet._

"Now class," Ms. Caldwell began, " Today we will be reading aloud one of the greatest love scenes from Shakespeare's novel, _Romeo and Juliet."_

'_Just great,' _thought Ruthie. '_It figures that this week of all weeks we start to read the most tragic love story ever told.'_

"To start us off, let's all turn to page 223 in our Literature Books. Great. Now I will assign the roles. In this scene, the only characters we will need are Romeo and Juliet. The nurse will not enter until the next scene." Said Ms. Caldwell.

"Hmm," she sighed, " Brad, you can be our Romeo and for our Juliet, how about you Ruthie?"

"Well Ms. Caldwell, would you mind if I declined the offer?"

"Well no dear, if you feel strongly about not reciting the part, I suppose-"

"Why don't you want to read Camden? Still hung up on the school's baseball star? Martin Brewer." Brad rudely interrupted.

At the mention of Martin's name, Ruthie's eyes began to water slightly.

"Now Brad," Ms. Caldwell began to object, only to be cut off by Brad again.

"We all heard. He's having a baby with someone else. Get over it. Move on. He can't be yours."

"This has nothing to do with Martin," Ruthie stated in a cold voice. Her eyes were no longer watery, but blazing. She fiercely turned to Brad.

"The reason that I do not wish to read is you. I could not get into the character knowing that my Romeo was being played by a acne scarred bastard who thinks he's God's gift to women, when in reality the only thing I see is a loser who wants someone to think he fits. And as for me and Martin, that's none of your business."

"Ms. Caldwell! Did you hear what she said to me?" Brad whined.

"No, I'm sorry dear, I didn't hear a thing. I was too busy reviewing the play. You know how captivating Romeo and Juliet can be." Ms. Caldwell answered in a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Amanda, why don't you play Juliet. We haven't got any more time to waste!" Ms. Caldwell urged.

And so the lesson began.

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School had finally ended. She had ridden the bus home from school. On her walk to the back door, leading to the kitchen, Ruthie's thoughts began to wander. Her thoughts rested on Martin. Ruthie had been avoiding Martin all day, though whenever she began to daze off in class, all she could see was a pair of beautiful, deep hazel eyes. Martin's eyes, to be exact. She missed those eyes and his smile. Her thoughts began to wander onto Martin's many wonderful attributes.

Before she knew it Ruthie had entered the kitchen. Her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth hung open at the sight she had been confronted with. Ruthie went to speak, but could not form the words. She opted to continue to wordlessly stare at the 'guest' who was having lunch with her parents. Ruthie then regained her voice and did the only thing she could think of. She screamed.

A/N : OK, well that's chapter two. I hope you enjoy. I know most of you are probably screaming about the fact that there is no Martin/Ruthie action in this chapter, but he will enter the story in the next chapter or two. Reviews keep me writing. Please let me know what you think. And, tell me who you want Ruthie to have seen in the kitchen. Next chapter is up to you.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own 7th heaven, though I wish I did.

Ruthie screamed as she saw Martin sitting in her kitchen with her parents. She didn't mean to scream. It just came out. She had been thinking of Martin so much that all of her emotions had built up. Screaming had been the only way for her to let out her emotions and make sure that her voice was still functioning. Eric, Annie and Martin all looked up questioningly at Ruthie. Deep hazel eyes bore into brown ones. Martin stood up from the table.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I should just go. Bye Mr. and Mrs. Camden. I'll see you later Ruthie."

As Martin turned to leave, a gentle hand placed upon his shoulder stopped him. Eric and Annie had taken this gesture as their cue to leave the room.

"No Martin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scream." Ruthie began. "Please, stay. We should talk."

"Yeah, we should talk." Martin said this as he shifted on his feet nervously.

" So . . . outside? We'll talk?" Ruthie questioned.

"Sure, yeah, whatever you want." Martin nervously responded.

Martin held the door open for Ruthie as she walked out of the kitchen and followed her into the backyard. They sat on the steps.

"So..." They both began, but stopped and laughed anxiously.

"OK," said Ruthie, "I'll start. I wanted to talk to you about what happened last week. You know, when you told me about you and Sandy and . . ." Ruthie's voice seemed to shake for a moment and Martin wanted nothing better than to hold her, but he stopped as she opened her mouth to continue.

" And the baby." She finished. "See, I was embarrassed that well. . ." Ruthie trailed off.

"No, please, tell me." Martin gently demanded.

"This is really hard so it might take a while. This was a stupid idea. Maybe we should talk about this some other time." Ruthie began.

"I've got time." Martin insisted. "I really want to settle this. I miss you and I want to know how you're feeling. Help me understand."

"Help you understand." Ruthie laughed bitterly. "Why is it that everyone wants me to help them understand how I feel? None of you thought about how I would feel when you all lied to me, so why now? Why do I have to _help_ you understand now?"

"Ruthie," Martin began, but stopped.

" Fine, you want to understand, I'll tell you. It's not that complicated really. I love you Martin. I thought we could be together, I thought that was what you had come to talk to me about. I was wrong. You came to tell me that you got another girl pregnant and if that wasn't enough, everyone knew, but me. That hurts, Martin. It really hurts. It hurts to be in love with someone who you can't have and it kills you that they mean the world to you and you mean nothing to them. You don't know how that feels." Ruthie whispered.

She put her head down, upset, but also unabashed. Martin tilted her head up so that she was staring into his eyes. Her nose only a centimeter from his. Ruthie had always been able to get lost in those eyes, but she fought the urge. Now was not the time.

"I do know what it feels like," Martin began, " To love someone that you know you can't have."

"Oh," Ruthie said, upset that another girl had stolen his heart. She tried to look down again and at that moment, Martin understood why.

"You Ruthie, I love you. It's always been you."

"What?"

"How about I talk and you listen for a while, OK?"

"OK." She breathed.

"This is hard, coming from a jock and a marine's son, so listen closely because I don't know if I'll be able to say this again." He paused, then began again. "Ruthie, for the past two years you've taken my life by storm. I couldn't have you last year because I lived with you. We just couldn't be. I watched you date Vincent, that bastard, and dated Zoe and a few other girls to keep my mind off of something that was unattainable. You. Then this summer I made a big mistake. Sandy. I knew that this year could have been for us, but a stupid, one night stand screwed that all up." Martin stopped to take a breath.

He began again, " I couldn't bear to tell you about Sandy and the mistake I made. I never wanted to hurt you for anything in the world. But I did. And I hate myself for that. I really did mean what I said that night."

By this time silent tears were rolling down Ruthie's cheeks. Martin brushed them away.

He began again, " So yeah, I do know what it's like. I love you and I can't be with you."

"Why not?" Ruthie questioned. "It doesn't matter that you and Sandy are having a baby. We can make this work."

"No," Martin said, "No."

He shook his head, while Ruthie looked on questioningly. He took one hand in his and looked into Ruthie's eyes.

"Why? Now you help me understand."

Martin sighed," Ruthie, your perfect. You're beautiful, smart, sweet, funny, innocent and untainted, but me, I don't deserve you. Someone like me doesn't deserve someone as pure and perfect as you. We can't be together right now. It would tear us apart. I'm scared of losing you and our friendship."

Ruthie looked at Martin with a look of commitment.

"No." She stated firmly. "Martin, nothing is ever perfect, but you are as close as it gets for me. I may be pure or whatever else you want to call it, but I love you. If I'm everything you say I am then it sounds like you feel that I deserve the best. And for me the best is you." Ruthie said.

"No, we can't."

"Oh, spare me the we can't shit." Ruthie said and now she was angry. "This isn't even about me is it? Not really. You're a hypocrite Martin and a coward! You're too scared to get hurt and I am too, but we can try. You talk about love and how much you love me and how much I deserve. Well guess what Martin, you and me, right here, right now, this is love. You're a hypocrite if you're about to turn your back on it."

"Ruthie, this is too complicated."

"No. No one said this was going to be easy, but we have to try. I love you and that's not going to go away Martin. Please. Let's just try."

Martin looked at her.

"Is this really what you want?" he asked.

"More than anything."

"OK." He said.

And with that Martin tilted Ruthie's head back and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"You know, I never gave up on you." Ruthie whispered as they broke apart. "Not ever."

And she leaned forward and kissed Martin, out under the stars.

A/N: Well that's it for this chapter. I'm not sure whether to end the story here or continue. Let me know what you think. Review Please.

Beautiful Deceit


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